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21 August 2007
Seems the moose being the veggie eating peaceful creature it is, has a gas problem. The moose is just one big carbon dioxide producing machine. A moose can produce as much as 2,100 kilograms of CO2, which is equivalent of a car driving 13,000 kilometers, now is that a Metro or Suburban?
Now this is clear to me, we must kill all the cows, moose, bambi’s and grazing animals in order to reduce carbon. Or the cows, moose, and bambi’s must buy carbon offsets, some thing like what Al Gore has to do to offset that rather large electric bill he has.
But what do we do about that sacred cow of a company called Ben and Jerry’s? Aren’t they aiding and abetting? Don’t they sell pints size containers of carbon? Clearly Ben and Jerry must buy offsets, this will raise the price of “Cherry Guevara” ice cream of course.
Oh the horror, the horror!
A more reasonable solution might be to put the moose in to large moose collectives where their gas can be harvesting and used to generate electricity or power cars.
(note to the crunchies reading this article, it is satire. And I really don’t want you to kill moose.)
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