CtTaxed.com

You Are A Sinner

Yes, you, the one in the third row wearing the cheap suit.

You are going to burn. You shall suffer the flames of eternal damnation for your sins.

Did I ever tell you my Grandfather was a Calvin Minster? It’s in my blood.

Anyways back to your damnation.

Only through the purchase of carbon credits can you be saved.

And it just so happens we are having a two for one sale at my booth in the back along with copies of my movie.

After which the UN Chief and me will hop in our private jets and spew tonnes and tonnes of carbon in to our atmosphere. But hey, some pigs are more equal than others.

Did you know you can buy carbon credits? To calm your guilt more than a few organizations will be happy to sell you a few credits to offset all those tons of carbon you have been spewing. Prices range from $5.50 to $10 a ton. If you can’t find someone to give your money to, I’d be happy to sell you some. I am holding a sale on indulgences this month only, $4 a ton.

Did you know Al Gore has an investment firm, Generation Investment Management (GIM) that specializes in green investments?

From their website:

Generation has built a global research platform to integrate sustainability research into fundamental equity analysis. We focus on the economic, environmental, social, and governance risks and opportunities that can materially affect a company’s ability to sustain profitability and deliver returns. Our research plays an important role in forming our views on the quality of the business, the quality of management, and valuation.

Huh? Got that?

Three things come to mind. 1) If you don’t play along, there just might be a study questioning your ability to sustain your business given your heavy carbon footprint. 2) Contract with us and we will advise you on how to be sustainable. And 3) We can give you political cover.

From their website:

* Sustainable development will be a primary driver of industrial and economic change over the next 50 years
* The global context for business is clearly changing—”Capitalism is at a Crossroads”
* Shareholders will be best served by companies who maximize their financial return by strategically managing their performance in this new economic, social, environmental and ethical context

Ah, yes, the old “capitalism is at a crossroads” theory. Didn’t Karl Marx say something like that?

And the “NEW” yes “NEW” not the “OLD”, seriously this time it is the “NEW economic, social, environmental and ethical context”.

Hold on to your wallets.

One Response to “You Are A Sinner”

1. CtTaxed.com » Blog Archives » Global Warming, Follow The Money Says:
   April 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am

   […] Global Warming movement is an un-holy alliance of control freaks, get rich freaks and now businesses are following the […]

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